Friday, June 4, 2010

Procrastination ...

My neck pain is getting a lot better but after a few weeks away from drawing, I'm having trouble of getting back to the horse. I'm not quite sure what's happening but here are a list of the usual suspects.

- Disruption of normal weekly drawing schedule

I was just starting to get into a drawing routine then came all these "mishaps." So the habit was not well developed. I think it will require some mental strength to pull this off.

- Perfectionism

I have been working on some drawing exercises from a workbook before the neck pain and all the "mishaps". I got thorough the first two with no problems. (I mean I was able to "reproduce" exactly as the exercises required.) Come the 3rd one, I could only work out 1/3 of it and the rest is rubbish.

Since then, whenever I open the workbook, I have this voice in my head saying: see, you can't draw! No matter how hard you try, you'll never get it.

I knew it was the perfectionist inside of me trying to dissuade my effort. But what surprised me was I believe in her! Why do I expect myself to get the drawing exercises and the actual painting all right in one go? This is ridiculous!

As much as I hate to admit it, the ongoing war between me and the perfectionist seems never ends. :(

- "Mishaps" update

Yeap, the mishaps continue. The latest one is about my oven. I'm still waiting for a spare part to fix the oven door.

Really, really hope this is the last one ...

So in the mist of all of these, what do I do? I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with this quote: When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!

I bought myself a set of paint brush and a pencil case. I'm not a big fan of synthetic paint brushes. But how could you walk away from these beauties?
The last time I owned a pencil case I was about 16 years old. But since I started to draw, instead of scouting the usual handbag, I spent a lot of time browsing cute stationery stores.

With all of these happenings, it's really messing me up. So I think I'm going to stay in my "cruise mode" a little bit longer. Also I'm contemplating to do some basic drawing classes. There is only so much I could learn by myself through books and practices. It will be good to have a real person I could seek immediate advice.


Chapter Forty said...

I totally recommend classes. You can learn so much from your fellow students as well as your teacher. In another life I did drawing classes, life drawing- nudes, it was brilliant, challenging and strangely meditative. That is one uber pencil case.

miruspeg said...

Those little voices in our head can be very unsettling if we pay too much attention to them.
It is so hard to break old habits but it IS POSSIBLE.
I am living proof!

I absolutely agree with Chapter Forty and recommend you attend art classes. It would be like the blogging community where we all inspire and encourage each other.

Keep smiling.....keep shining!
Peggy xxx

WrightStuff said...

Oh that old enemy - perfection. I have a few battles with him myself - rather a lot of the time actually. Let's go bash him on the head!

Cameron said...

Oh, J!

You're so hard on yourself! There is no timeline on enjoyment! Do what feels good...I agree that a class will likely put you in a better frame of mind....

Besides, any type of doing, perfect or not ( and when is Life ever "Perfect?)far outweighs not doing!

Pick up brush or pencil and just start doodling about how art makes you expression can be so you are a capable and creative individual with mounds of talents to share...

I hope you catch that "Perfectionista" off guard so much, that even "She" has to admit that you're not half bad at all!

Keep it up, My Friend, your chin, the desire to create, the introspection, the problem solving...everything!!

Big Hugs,

Angie said...

Hello Hybrid,
Neck pain is terrible, I have suffered from back pain and it just stops you from doing the ordinary things, let alone other stuff like sitting for long periods of time sketching. I sure hope it all settles for you so you can get back on the horse!
If you remember our last e-mail, well I have found full time work teaching year 7's till the end of the year. i am so excited, and am loving it. but as for art well for now it has to wait, i have so much to organise, but have plans to plan a great art program! Woohoo!
Hope the distractions stop and that your drawing routine come back soon, all the best Angie :)