Choosing

It is amazing how every day I have to learn about choosing all over again and again. The choosing I’m referring to is whether I choose to write or not. And if I choose to write, I also have to choose what I’m going to write.

After finishing STOS # 1 (draft), I had come up with a very rough writing schedule. Basically I’m to produce 200 words of STOS on a daily basis (5 or 6 days a week). So far, I’ve finished 3 stories of STOS. No bad!

By now, I’m expecting I should be very used to this 200 words daily writing routine. I’m expecting myself to feel at ease whenever I sit in front of my laptop. The answer is Yes and No. I did feel at ease sitting in front of the laptop. Whereas in before, I was like an animal circling the prey and wondered when was the best time to attack it. Now I would slide into my chair and turn on the machine gracefully.

Then comes the big No No. While waiting for the laptop to load up the document, my mind would start wandering off. It leaps to want to check the emails and all the fantastic blogs simultaneously. Or all of a sudden, the laundry is of paramount importance. I have to do it and I have to do it now or the human race will be perished. And As soon as my mind start grabbing the shopping list for luxurious gadgets like a wireless mouse covered in Swaroski crystals, I have to put a stop to it.

I’m back to choosing. I have to make a conscious decision if I’m to write today or to continue with a gadget list with more items like installing a 72 inches big screen TV in my bedroom.

Choosing has become an important part of my daily writing routine. It sets up the stage for the creative self to perform. And when I step on that stage, the other parts of choosing come in as well. Now I’m facing with the questions if I want to start a new story or to rewrite a finished draft. To go further, I’ll need to make all sorts of decisions / choosing while I’m in the middle of creating a story.

No matter how much choosing I need to do during the course of writing a story, the first choosing is the crucial one. No story will get written without my choosing to write over choosing to watch crap TV.

With this in mind, I’ve been feeling a wee bit uneasy when people say that to be a writer is not by choice. Maybe to them. Maybe they are born to be writers. But to me, I choose to be a writer because I want to. It is a choice that I make on a daily basis.

What about you, fellow creatives? Do you choose to become a writer, a painter? What makes you choose to write or paint or … ?

* STOS is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.