Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Something Break Through ...

A while ago, I mentioned that during the writing of NaNo, something broke through me. Though I still find it difficult and confuse to articulate what is going on, I'm giving it my best shot to write about it.

Back track - after finishing Wreck This Journal project from Jamie Ridler's "The Next Chapter" around end Jul, I found myself enjoying casual art making. So I took the plunge to learn about Zentangle late Aug. From there I started to post my tangle drawings on a weekly basis til NaNo took over on Nov.

But during this period, the urges to draw became greater and greater. I actually rushed through my NaNo writing so that I could grab my sketch book and filled it with doodles, patterns and some dream up figures. At the same time, instead of reading great authors' work for inspirations, I began to search the internet for artists' works.

I was scared and frustrated of this distraction. But yet, I can't help it. There was something about drawing which was strange but also familiar to me. I struggled. I resisted. But I always went back to it, night after night.

The timing was chaotic, however I began to think about drawing more and what it meant to me. This is what I learn. (Mind you, they are more like initial thoughts and will change over time.)

- Drawing had given me the kind of satisfaction that writing had never given me.

- The familiarity that I felt might come from the fact that all my writings (usually) begin from visual images I had in my mind. I follow the images and basically write down what I "see". Drawing is like another way to express the images. Or another way to describe it: I'm going back to to the "source".

- My upbringing had taught me to be modest at all time, but I had to say, when I looked at my little drawings, I was surprised of the quality of artwork I had produced. They were not that bad at all.

You need to understand this - the last time I drew, I was 14 years old attending art classes at school. I have no special art talent, just your usual average student. I was never into art and craft work. I didn't doodle on class works or homework, didn't sew or knit ... (you got the picture.) All I cared about was reading and (honestly) how to look good in school uniforms, i.e. "clip" the school dresses up to show more legs! ;)

So you could imagine the surprise or rather like shock when I found the compositions of my little drawings rather pleasing. I wonder where that aesthetic sense comes from.

It was during the last week of NaNo, I knew that I wanted to spend more time to draw and learn about drawing. However, I owed it to myself to finish NaNo. It was definitely an achievement and a milestone in my writing life. But at the same time, it took a lot out of me. I felt that I had bled my writing self dry, bone dry. Hence I had decided it was the right time to take a vacation from writing and do something else.

Right now, I'm exploring ways to draw and the subjects I want to draw. I'm not doing any classes but learn by actual drawing and observing / studying artists' works. It's extremely difficult, especially from someone like me, who has zero drawing skill and nil knowledge of art history. But gee, the kick I got when I overcame just one tiny hurdle, it's worth it!

This is the break through and this is where I'm now.

So my fellow bloggers and creatives, what do you think about all of these? I'd love to hear of your thoughts.


Caroline said...

OMG...what is in the air? This is happening to me right now! Instead of being behin the lens...I'm writing. I have never really written before in my life. And suddenly, my head is filled with words! *gah!* It's crazy. All I want to do is get these stories and words out...

miruspeg said...

Well Hybrid I feel you can combine the two crafts. You have expressed yourself so well in this post, so I feel you haven't lost any skills in the writing stakes, so I suggest draw your pictures and if you feel the urge write a story about them.
It doesn't have to be one or the other.
Isn't it fabulous when we find a new fork in the road to venture down. :D

Veena said...

I'm so glad you are following where your urge to create takes you. I believe all the arts are deeply connected (like you say, you saw the image in your head and wanted to describe it) and if we stretch in all the directions our artistic souls take us, we become more and more taut in our skills, more grounded, more authentic. Congratulations on finishing Nano- that is definitely a gigantic achievement!!! And congratulations on this new direction, and good luck on the many more that will come your way.... :-)

WrightStuff said...

I think it's all about creativity and finding the right outlet for you. I started this year with the ambition of writing a book. I haven't done it but I'm not cross with myself because I've done something else instead. I started my blog and just kept going and now 220+ posts later my enthusiasm is still shining strong. Then, while I was blogging I began to paint again and, like you, I couldn't get enough. I don't even bother packing it all away any more. My dining table has become my art studio. It's been quite a year for me too! But back to my original point, I think it is about finding a creative release...

Leone said...

How exciting to find a new direction. Creatives find outlets in many different ways and it's fun to explore all of them. I look forward to seeing more of your drawings.

Hybrid J said...

Hi Everyone,

A deep thank you to all your loving and enouraging feedback. This sure will help me to move forward with confidence and grace. :)

Grammy said...

I too found joy in art. I love to create. I explore new ways every day. I am so glad your are so happy with it. It is like our inner child has come out to play. It will heal us and you will find deeper understanding and thought to write about it the more you do.

Jean said...

I love that you are following your impulse to explore new things. I, too, found that art was calling out to me during "Wreck this Journal". I think the art can only enhance the writing and vice versa.

I still LOVE your hybrid tangles. Very cool! I hope you will keep posting photos of your work. It is inspiring.

Merry Merry! Have a SAFE New Year!