Hmm ... a bit of a difficult time for me to blog.
I blame it to my character fault. Lots of people, both men and women, all say that females are born to multi-task. Well, not this one here. I might be good at multi-task at work(??) but not in my creative life.
Right now, my mind is working on overdrive to sort out story ideas for NaNo. On the one hand, I'd like to use NaNo to finish STOS. On the other hand, a new story idea has been cropping up several times the last few weeks wanting to be written. I quite like it and it has lots of potentials. Because of this idea war, I don't have spare head space for other creative activities, including blogging. So I think I'll post less until I'm in better (mind) shape.
But here is something for you, my fellow bloggers and creatives.
This morning I woke up with this in my mind: "I don't want to be your mug!"
I'm offering you this as a cue to your next creative project, whether it be a story or doodles. Feel free to use is in whatever way you like.
It would be nice if you could leave a comment or a link to let me know what you do with it. I've been thinking just who would say such weird thing and why.
Cheers and have a nice weekend!
P.S. Now you know why I claim that I'm a writer of strange tales. I constantly have this kind of weird phrase going in and out of my mind. :)
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Friday, October 2, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Hybrid Tangles & Salvador Dali
Another Sunday for the Hybrid Tangles.
I did two this week. I believe this one was too busy, like I was trying too hard.
This one's a lot better, espeically when I put it along side Salvador Dali's "Tail Bone Woman" from his painting - Burning Giraffe (1936 - 1937).
Currently our National Gallery Victoria is exhibiting Salvador Dali's work. I went to see his painting and other artwork twice and will be going again next week before the exhibition closed.
Dali and Me:
Since I discovered my inclination to write "strange tales" a few years ago and the way I develop stories from viusalisation, I've been scouting drawings & artists for inspiration. Through my reasearch, I found that I was especially drawn to surrealism. And naturally, I can't stay away from Dali. I've known about Dali's exhibition since last June and have been waiting eagerly to view his work in real.
And what an expereince I had! Not only I'm crazily in love with his work, I note that Dali and his paintings begin to zip into my stories. My writings, both plot turn and the prose, are taking on a surreal flavour. I'm wondering where Dali is leading me. :)
I did two this week. I believe this one was too busy, like I was trying too hard.
This one's a lot better, espeically when I put it along side Salvador Dali's "Tail Bone Woman" from his painting - Burning Giraffe (1936 - 1937).
Currently our National Gallery Victoria is exhibiting Salvador Dali's work. I went to see his painting and other artwork twice and will be going again next week before the exhibition closed.
Dali and Me:
Since I discovered my inclination to write "strange tales" a few years ago and the way I develop stories from viusalisation, I've been scouting drawings & artists for inspiration. Through my reasearch, I found that I was especially drawn to surrealism. And naturally, I can't stay away from Dali. I've known about Dali's exhibition since last June and have been waiting eagerly to view his work in real.
And what an expereince I had! Not only I'm crazily in love with his work, I note that Dali and his paintings begin to zip into my stories. My writings, both plot turn and the prose, are taking on a surreal flavour. I'm wondering where Dali is leading me. :)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
NaNo Training Report
BEWARE … this is a very long post …
NaNo is about writing a 50,000 words novel in 30 days time. As the organizer stresses that it’s all about QUANTITY and not quality.
This works out to be 1700 words per day. I don’t know about my fellow writers, but to me this is a very, very tall order.
My current daily word count is about 200 per day and it takes me about an hour to an hour and a half to get it. Main reason that I keep such low word count is to ensure that I have no excuse not to do it on a daily basis. This is how I have managed to keep writing 6 days a week since Jan this year.
My “intuitive” way of writing contributes to the hour which I need to get to the 200 mark. That is to say that I don’t plan or plot. I start writing with a vague sense of the story. First draft to me is always about “discovery”.
Now, if I’m to stick to my existing writing schedule for NaNo, I’ll need to write (at least) 8 hours / day for 30 days to get to the 50K mark. This is not really practical, I mean, unless I’m to take a month’s off my work. (I work 4-days a week.) I need to find a way to up my word count.
This is where “training” comes in my mind. Well, obviously, I dramatize it! :) It is more about me finding ways to write up to 1900 words a day, how many hours (in real time) I need and if I can cope, especially during my work day.
From 01/09, I included a +10% rule to my daily word count. That is to use the previous day’s word count as a base, I require myself to up 10% from it for each day’s output. According to my plan, I’m to reach 1700 mark on 23/09, but I hit 1901 on 17/09! It took me about 4+ hours (during work day) to get to 1901.
A few things I learn about getting 1901 words in a day:
1) Allow yourself to write crap
Every time I hesitated or felt that the Internal Editor was about to appear, I said to myself: “You’re allowed to write crap! You’re to write crap! You’re writing crap!” I know this might sound a bit extremes, but the point was I somehow (re)gained a sense of absolute freedom for creating.
2) Overwriting
When I’m writing up a scene, event or even dialogue in the story, my aim is to exhaust that scene, event or dialogue. I only finish the scene when I have nothing else to say about it. Then I move onto the next part of the story. A tell tale sign for me to gauge this is when I begin to repeat the same description, details etc.
3) Mind Games
Because I got so used to 200 words a day, I realize my mind is using the 200 as a unit count. So when I feel resistance coming up, I just tell myself: “Just another 200 words!”
And when I find 1900 words an overwhelming number, I tell myself: “Just 9 sets of 200.” From this re-wording, my mind find the entire writing process easier to handle.
4+ hours of writing time:
Unless I decide to become a plotter, if I stick to my “discovery” way of writing, I just have to (pardon my language) suck it up!
The trick here is to split the 4 hours into sustainable sessions. My maximum concentration span is about 2 to 2.5 hours, so I splits the sessions from min. 1 hour per session to 2.5 hours per session.
Effects:
On the one hand I’m tired, tense and stress most of the time. But on the other hand, I had a strong sense of achievement and satisfaction which I had missed from my writing for a long time.
Drawback:
With such extensive overwriting, I know I’ll pay a huge price when come time for rewriting. But that’s part of the deal. I’m also trying to remember it’s always easier to trim and cut than to grow something.
Now, I won’t lie to you, so far I’ve only done this once (i.e. 1900 words in 1 day). Can I repeat it for 30 days? I don’t know. But I believe that it’s not a good idea to drill myself like that through out Oct. I need to conserve both creative and physical energy for the grand final.
For now, I’ll turn my attention to develop story idea for NaNo. However to keep the writing muscle supple for NaNo, I’m thinking to use STOS #5 to do an “advance training” (i.e. 1900 words per day for 6 consecutive days) around mid Oct. What do you think?
P.S. - STOS #4 (draft) was finished at 10,162 words in 12 days and ahead of original schedule all because of overwriting. (Since the writing of STOS from Jan, average word count of each STOS draft is about 5,000 words and takes about 1 month to finish.)
NaNo is about writing a 50,000 words novel in 30 days time. As the organizer stresses that it’s all about QUANTITY and not quality.
This works out to be 1700 words per day. I don’t know about my fellow writers, but to me this is a very, very tall order.
My current daily word count is about 200 per day and it takes me about an hour to an hour and a half to get it. Main reason that I keep such low word count is to ensure that I have no excuse not to do it on a daily basis. This is how I have managed to keep writing 6 days a week since Jan this year.
My “intuitive” way of writing contributes to the hour which I need to get to the 200 mark. That is to say that I don’t plan or plot. I start writing with a vague sense of the story. First draft to me is always about “discovery”.
Now, if I’m to stick to my existing writing schedule for NaNo, I’ll need to write (at least) 8 hours / day for 30 days to get to the 50K mark. This is not really practical, I mean, unless I’m to take a month’s off my work. (I work 4-days a week.) I need to find a way to up my word count.
This is where “training” comes in my mind. Well, obviously, I dramatize it! :) It is more about me finding ways to write up to 1900 words a day, how many hours (in real time) I need and if I can cope, especially during my work day.
From 01/09, I included a +10% rule to my daily word count. That is to use the previous day’s word count as a base, I require myself to up 10% from it for each day’s output. According to my plan, I’m to reach 1700 mark on 23/09, but I hit 1901 on 17/09! It took me about 4+ hours (during work day) to get to 1901.
A few things I learn about getting 1901 words in a day:
1) Allow yourself to write crap
Every time I hesitated or felt that the Internal Editor was about to appear, I said to myself: “You’re allowed to write crap! You’re to write crap! You’re writing crap!” I know this might sound a bit extremes, but the point was I somehow (re)gained a sense of absolute freedom for creating.
2) Overwriting
When I’m writing up a scene, event or even dialogue in the story, my aim is to exhaust that scene, event or dialogue. I only finish the scene when I have nothing else to say about it. Then I move onto the next part of the story. A tell tale sign for me to gauge this is when I begin to repeat the same description, details etc.
3) Mind Games
Because I got so used to 200 words a day, I realize my mind is using the 200 as a unit count. So when I feel resistance coming up, I just tell myself: “Just another 200 words!”
And when I find 1900 words an overwhelming number, I tell myself: “Just 9 sets of 200.” From this re-wording, my mind find the entire writing process easier to handle.
4+ hours of writing time:
Unless I decide to become a plotter, if I stick to my “discovery” way of writing, I just have to (pardon my language) suck it up!
The trick here is to split the 4 hours into sustainable sessions. My maximum concentration span is about 2 to 2.5 hours, so I splits the sessions from min. 1 hour per session to 2.5 hours per session.
Effects:
On the one hand I’m tired, tense and stress most of the time. But on the other hand, I had a strong sense of achievement and satisfaction which I had missed from my writing for a long time.
Drawback:
With such extensive overwriting, I know I’ll pay a huge price when come time for rewriting. But that’s part of the deal. I’m also trying to remember it’s always easier to trim and cut than to grow something.
Now, I won’t lie to you, so far I’ve only done this once (i.e. 1900 words in 1 day). Can I repeat it for 30 days? I don’t know. But I believe that it’s not a good idea to drill myself like that through out Oct. I need to conserve both creative and physical energy for the grand final.
For now, I’ll turn my attention to develop story idea for NaNo. However to keep the writing muscle supple for NaNo, I’m thinking to use STOS #5 to do an “advance training” (i.e. 1900 words per day for 6 consecutive days) around mid Oct. What do you think?
P.S. - STOS #4 (draft) was finished at 10,162 words in 12 days and ahead of original schedule all because of overwriting. (Since the writing of STOS from Jan, average word count of each STOS draft is about 5,000 words and takes about 1 month to finish.)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Writer's Extreme Sport
I'm not a sports fan and the only exercise I do everyday is to walk Pepper for about half an hour. But I love watching extreme sports programme and dream that one day I could be a mountaineer or a rock climber. Well I got my chance! Kind of …
I'm joining NaNoWriMo 2009, which to me is the writer's extreme sport.
For those who are not familiar with NaNo, here is my brief summary of it.
- NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month
(I short it to NaNo. The NaNoWriMo is really difficult to say, try it!)
- Origin: USA
- Programme: To write a 50,000 words novel in 30 days time.
- Starts on 1st November and finishes on 30th November 2009.
- Central idea is QUANTITY not quality.
For more details, please check here.
I’ve been thinking, obsessively, about this for two weekends and wrote down pages and pages of the whys. Here are some of them:
1) To show that I’m a bloody freaking writer --> Yes, I am!
2) To show that I can do it --> Yes, I can …??!!!
3) Shoot for the moon, if fails, at least I hit some stars?! --> Or maybe my own feet! Ouch!!!
4) I want their web badge & winner badge!!! --> Childish, yeah, so what!
5) Maybe I’ll get a workable novel from it? --> ??!!!!
6) Maybe this is the challenge which will push me to be great? --> More likely to push yourself to exhaustion!
7) Possibly the best birthday gift I’ve ever given to myself (Nov is my birthday month! WooHoooo!!) --> Hey you, get that? ;)
8) Anyone who is serious about writing should try this at least for once! --> You mean self-torture …
9) To further loosen the in habitation that I have to be a (published / good) writer. --> Now that is a good point :)
To go through such extreme writing sport, I’m developing a game plan and will write about it in future posts.
O.K. who else is going to play this extreme sport with me?
P.S. I must be either insane or just simply being stupid to want to write 50,000 words in a month!
P.P.S. I chose today to post about NaNo because I love Signs. How many 999 you could get in your life’s time? Not too many. So I took this as something very special!
I'm joining NaNoWriMo 2009, which to me is the writer's extreme sport.
For those who are not familiar with NaNo, here is my brief summary of it.
- NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month
(I short it to NaNo. The NaNoWriMo is really difficult to say, try it!)
- Origin: USA
- Programme: To write a 50,000 words novel in 30 days time.
- Starts on 1st November and finishes on 30th November 2009.
- Central idea is QUANTITY not quality.
For more details, please check here.
I’ve been thinking, obsessively, about this for two weekends and wrote down pages and pages of the whys. Here are some of them:
1) To show that I’m a bloody freaking writer --> Yes, I am!
2) To show that I can do it --> Yes, I can …??!!!
3) Shoot for the moon, if fails, at least I hit some stars?! --> Or maybe my own feet! Ouch!!!
4) I want their web badge & winner badge!!! --> Childish, yeah, so what!
5) Maybe I’ll get a workable novel from it? --> ??!!!!
6) Maybe this is the challenge which will push me to be great? --> More likely to push yourself to exhaustion!
7) Possibly the best birthday gift I’ve ever given to myself (Nov is my birthday month! WooHoooo!!) --> Hey you, get that? ;)
8) Anyone who is serious about writing should try this at least for once! --> You mean self-torture …
9) To further loosen the in habitation that I have to be a (published / good) writer. --> Now that is a good point :)
To go through such extreme writing sport, I’m developing a game plan and will write about it in future posts.
O.K. who else is going to play this extreme sport with me?
P.S. I must be either insane or just simply being stupid to want to write 50,000 words in a month!
P.P.S. I chose today to post about NaNo because I love Signs. How many 999 you could get in your life’s time? Not too many. So I took this as something very special!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A Perfect Day
Yesterday was perfect, because:
1) The server was down in my office. Can’t do the company report. I used the time to finish my daily writing of STOS # 4 (daily word count achieved) and the free writing exercise.
2) Typed up the written notes from last 4 days’ “write EVERYTHING down”.
3) Flesh out my DIY writing lesson plan for the next 6 months.
4) Had an hour Djembe lesson with the drummer girl, Simone. Woke up this morning with bruised finger. I’m now officially a Djembe drummer! ;)
5) Practice a tricky (at least to me) zentangle pattern and created a new Hybrid Tangles. Quite pleased with it. Will fine tune it and perhaps post it on Sunday.
1) The server was down in my office. Can’t do the company report. I used the time to finish my daily writing of STOS # 4 (daily word count achieved) and the free writing exercise.
2) Typed up the written notes from last 4 days’ “write EVERYTHING down”.
3) Flesh out my DIY writing lesson plan for the next 6 months.
4) Had an hour Djembe lesson with the drummer girl, Simone. Woke up this morning with bruised finger. I’m now officially a Djembe drummer! ;)
5) Practice a tricky (at least to me) zentangle pattern and created a new Hybrid Tangles. Quite pleased with it. Will fine tune it and perhaps post it on Sunday.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Power of Words
From recalling my years of reading books on personal development as stated in my post on The Joy Diet and my take on Scott Ginsberg’s writing advice, I re-learn about The Power of Words.
How? Let me explain this to you.
One thing that I took to my heart from reading books on personal development was about the negative connotation associated with the words “should” and “shouldn’t”. The negativity was so powerful that I had developed an automatic tune off to these two words.
The benefit of not buying into the “should” and “shouldn’t” is that I feel freer and less constricted in pursuing the things I like. But on the same token, I had suspected that I might have taken it too seriously, hence I might have missed out on some really good advice and even good fun!
A light bulb shone through when I read this from one of Scott Ginsberg’s “15 things …”:
Every time you say no to something that’s wrong for you, you make room FOR and give yourself permission to say yes to something that’s right for you.
The words that jumped out to me were “no” and “yes”.
I took the cue and played with the words a bit. Some amazing thing happened.
Example:
“I should write and I shouldn’t watch the re-run of NCIS for the 3rd time.”
When the above popped up in my mind, I concentrated so much on debating why I should write and not watch TV or vice versa, I ended up doing nothing.
“Say yes to writing and say no to NCIS.”
The signal is so clear that I don’t have to waste time to make up my mind.
Of course I could also say to myself: “yes to NCIS and no to writing.”
But this is still fine as I got to enjoy a good TV programme. The yes and no become a time saver and help to get things done.
So there you go, “The Power of Words”.
How? Let me explain this to you.
One thing that I took to my heart from reading books on personal development was about the negative connotation associated with the words “should” and “shouldn’t”. The negativity was so powerful that I had developed an automatic tune off to these two words.
The benefit of not buying into the “should” and “shouldn’t” is that I feel freer and less constricted in pursuing the things I like. But on the same token, I had suspected that I might have taken it too seriously, hence I might have missed out on some really good advice and even good fun!
A light bulb shone through when I read this from one of Scott Ginsberg’s “15 things …”:
Every time you say no to something that’s wrong for you, you make room FOR and give yourself permission to say yes to something that’s right for you.
The words that jumped out to me were “no” and “yes”.
I took the cue and played with the words a bit. Some amazing thing happened.
Example:
“I should write and I shouldn’t watch the re-run of NCIS for the 3rd time.”
When the above popped up in my mind, I concentrated so much on debating why I should write and not watch TV or vice versa, I ended up doing nothing.
“Say yes to writing and say no to NCIS.”
The signal is so clear that I don’t have to waste time to make up my mind.
Of course I could also say to myself: “yes to NCIS and no to writing.”
But this is still fine as I got to enjoy a good TV programme. The yes and no become a time saver and help to get things done.
So there you go, “The Power of Words”.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Write Everything Down, I Mean It!
From Scott Ginsberg’s various articles on writing, I have re-discovered and re-engaged with a very basic writing tip – Writing Things Down.
Before I start talking more about this re-discovery, I want to give credit to Lisa of Wrightstuff who introduced me to Ginsberg a while back. And just like Lisa, though I nodded my head on quite a few of Ginsberg's advice, I find him, at times, repetitive.
Let me put it this way, how many time you get excited when you see article tilted: 32 Ways to Overcome Writer’s Block? Personally, once or twice are enough. But Ginsberg is religious and totally loyal to his “9 ways”, “13 daily disciplines”and “26 essentials”.
O.K. back to the subject matter. Ginsberg is all about “capture”. It could be of writing things down, taking photos, tear-off magazines pages etc. But it all comes down to the basic: write everything down. Don’t let anything skip your mind. He had mentioned “capture” so many times in his various articles that I began to think about my own (to use his word) “capture”.
I did write things down.
(Ginsberg: Write everything down.)
I did.
(Ginsberg: Write everything down!)
I did!
(Ginsberg: Write EVERYTHING down!)
Oops!
That’s what I mean. Yes, I did write everything down but did I write down every idea, every odd phrase, every one-liner, and every quote that came to my mind? No, I didn’t!
What I did was to write down those which I believed was good. This meant that I have killed an idea before it even became an idea.
To make sure I fully understood the ramification of “capture”, I began an experiment. For 4-days, I wrote down (as much as I physically could) every idea, every odd phrase, every one-liner, every quote that came to my mind. And do you know what I find out?
1) The more I “captured” them, the more they came to me.
2) I had more story ideas in one day than I could possibly have in a month’s time!
3) At first glance, these “captives” had nothing in common, but when I deliberately mixed them together; they opened up to further new ideas and new solutions from each other.
4) But the most amazing thing I found about “writing everything down” was that I became alive again. All these ideas, phrases, one-liners and quotes awoke my curiosity to my surroundings, to my mind and to my creativity. They energised me and brought me heaps of laughter.
I’m now a total convert to writing EVERYTHING down. I urge you, fellow creatives (writers and non-writers alike) write (sketch, draw, record) everything down. It’s a real kick to creativity and you’ll be amazed what you pick up along the road.
Before I start talking more about this re-discovery, I want to give credit to Lisa of Wrightstuff who introduced me to Ginsberg a while back. And just like Lisa, though I nodded my head on quite a few of Ginsberg's advice, I find him, at times, repetitive.
Let me put it this way, how many time you get excited when you see article tilted: 32 Ways to Overcome Writer’s Block? Personally, once or twice are enough. But Ginsberg is religious and totally loyal to his “9 ways”, “13 daily disciplines”and “26 essentials”.
O.K. back to the subject matter. Ginsberg is all about “capture”. It could be of writing things down, taking photos, tear-off magazines pages etc. But it all comes down to the basic: write everything down. Don’t let anything skip your mind. He had mentioned “capture” so many times in his various articles that I began to think about my own (to use his word) “capture”.
I did write things down.
(Ginsberg: Write everything down.)
I did.
(Ginsberg: Write everything down!)
I did!
(Ginsberg: Write EVERYTHING down!)
Oops!
That’s what I mean. Yes, I did write everything down but did I write down every idea, every odd phrase, every one-liner, and every quote that came to my mind? No, I didn’t!
What I did was to write down those which I believed was good. This meant that I have killed an idea before it even became an idea.
To make sure I fully understood the ramification of “capture”, I began an experiment. For 4-days, I wrote down (as much as I physically could) every idea, every odd phrase, every one-liner, every quote that came to my mind. And do you know what I find out?
1) The more I “captured” them, the more they came to me.
2) I had more story ideas in one day than I could possibly have in a month’s time!
3) At first glance, these “captives” had nothing in common, but when I deliberately mixed them together; they opened up to further new ideas and new solutions from each other.
4) But the most amazing thing I found about “writing everything down” was that I became alive again. All these ideas, phrases, one-liners and quotes awoke my curiosity to my surroundings, to my mind and to my creativity. They energised me and brought me heaps of laughter.
I’m now a total convert to writing EVERYTHING down. I urge you, fellow creatives (writers and non-writers alike) write (sketch, draw, record) everything down. It’s a real kick to creativity and you’ll be amazed what you pick up along the road.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Post or Not Post My Stories In My Blog
I have wanted to ask these questions for some time but kept feeling embarrassed by it. But then the more I thought and researched about it, the more I was confused. So I’m giving it a go here.
As a writer, clearly, we are always on the look out for publishing opportunities. One of the venues is to post our writings in our blogs.
My questions are:
- Since a lot of publication requires the story never published before, is it better off if I don’t post my stories in my blog at all?
- And if I choose to post my stories in my blog, would I lose my publishing chances and would I be considered as an amateur?
- Are there any general guidelines?
Any comments and / or respond are welcomed.
As a writer, clearly, we are always on the look out for publishing opportunities. One of the venues is to post our writings in our blogs.
My questions are:
- Since a lot of publication requires the story never published before, is it better off if I don’t post my stories in my blog at all?
- And if I choose to post my stories in my blog, would I lose my publishing chances and would I be considered as an amateur?
- Are there any general guidelines?
Any comments and / or respond are welcomed.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Practicing Being Creative
While I was writing up an email to a good friend last Friday, I have discovered some additional things about my writing endeavour that I decided to post part of it here.
Though I've been into writing for years now, but STOS was and is my first "substantial" project. The last few years, I wrote bits and pieces of unfinished draft with no particular focus or theme. Probably what has been happening was that I was practicing "to be creative". Note here, I'm talking about practicing being creative, NOT practicing writing.
I've always enjoyed writing. But most of them are like writing down what's happening in my life and my respond to it, i.e. personal journal. It's only til I started university I began to write stories. Writing stories is totally different to personal journal. With personal journal, the writing is easy and there are no rules or structure you need to follow. After all you just write down what you're feeling or seeing etc.
But with story writing, hence called creative writing, the writer is required to come up with characters, settings, plots etc. This also means that the writer is required to use h/her imagination to create stories. That is what I called "practicing being creative".
From all those years of learning and practicing to be creative, I was ready for a "real" project. It's only now, after writing STOS for 5 months and from blogging about that experience, I realized all of these. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry or both! But I'm glad I have come to this realization.
Fellow creatives, do you think I'm making any sense of above?
Though I've been into writing for years now, but STOS was and is my first "substantial" project. The last few years, I wrote bits and pieces of unfinished draft with no particular focus or theme. Probably what has been happening was that I was practicing "to be creative". Note here, I'm talking about practicing being creative, NOT practicing writing.
I've always enjoyed writing. But most of them are like writing down what's happening in my life and my respond to it, i.e. personal journal. It's only til I started university I began to write stories. Writing stories is totally different to personal journal. With personal journal, the writing is easy and there are no rules or structure you need to follow. After all you just write down what you're feeling or seeing etc.
But with story writing, hence called creative writing, the writer is required to come up with characters, settings, plots etc. This also means that the writer is required to use h/her imagination to create stories. That is what I called "practicing being creative".
From all those years of learning and practicing to be creative, I was ready for a "real" project. It's only now, after writing STOS for 5 months and from blogging about that experience, I realized all of these. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry or both! But I'm glad I have come to this realization.
Fellow creatives, do you think I'm making any sense of above?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Being Light
I’ve been out of the creative abyss a few days now but I’m still feeling a bit disoriented. It’s like I’m no longer deep in the abyss but I’m also not back on writing land yet. But I’m in no hurry. I’m enjoying being in limbo. There is a certain kind of lightness in limbo land that made me smile. I've been wearing dresses these last few days. (I'm usually a jeans woman!) And I remembered that I had my permission plus everything that I needed to be a writer or maybe even an artist ...
P.S. I got my car back over the weekend. :)
P.S. I got my car back over the weekend. :)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Elizabeth Gilbert
I viewed this from Kim's blog and I was so moved that I decided to put this up.
And I'll also share this with you:
I cried at the end of Gilbert's speech as I realized that my effort for showing up to my writings has been recognized by all creatives.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
When Do You Become A Writer?
Again, I thank you for all the insightful comment I got from my previous post – “Where Am I?” Each one of them is like a brightly-lit candle to guide me in my search for clarity. My humble thanks.My search so far had led me to this:
“My desperation of becoming a published writer had me pushing myself to a corner. The result is my creativity froze up and the stories no longer sparkle.”
While writing up the “Where Am I” post, I have also started a Q & A session with myself.
Q: When does a writer become a “writer”?
A: When I have a short story or a book published by a prominent publisher.
Q: What if you have 1 short story published by a little known journal once? Are you a writer or not?
A: Probably not …
Q: So when do you think you’re a writer?
A: Maybe when I have more stories published … maybe when I’m earning my living from writing … maybe when both my ideas and prose flow without effort …
Q: So you don’t know when you’ll be a writer?
A: (Silent)
Q: Or you have another sixty millions rules to fulfil before you become a writer?
A: (Silent)
Q: You know what? If those are your criteria, you’ll NEVER be a writer because whatever you do, you’re never there!
A: (Silent) (I could feel tears coming up.)
Q: Sorry mate, you can cry as much as you want, but I’m going to throw you these …
You have let all these rules and the idea of a “published writer” take away the things which make you write …
You write not because you want to be a “published writer”.
You write because you enjoy the “high” that you got when you finally know what the story is.
You write because you love to see that your writing language takes on a new shape after hours/days/months / years of writing stories.
You write because you love to be amazed and amused by creativity.
You write to see what else has been buried deep in your core, your soul and your spirit.
You write because that is what you do.
A: (Silent)
I’m putting a halt to this Q & A session as I have realised something.
My mind has been so fixed on publication as the final price that I had undermined every one of my writing achievements. I have extinguished my own creative fire because I mistook publication as the ultimate energy source to fuel my writing. I was wrong! The source was never ever from the outside. It came from within. It came from the sparks, the “high” and the discovery which writing had brought me!
I won’t say that this realization had swept away all my frustration. But it helped to “re-claim” my creative self.
Also on second thought, I don’t think the frustration will ever be totally gone. As a creative being, we are always seeking new horizon of our chosen art form. And with each new adventure, we’ll always encounter new problems which will always lead to new frustration. Hence, frustration is inherent in all creative acts. Perhaps instead of viewing frustration as something that is ugly, horrible and negative, we should welcome it. For it signifies that we are embarking on a new journey.
I think this should about conclude my journey to understand creative frustration. I thank you all my dear, dear fellow creatives for listening and sharing. But most of all, for catching me when I fall. I'm eternally grateful!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Where Am I?
I’d like to thank everyone who had commented on my previous post “I Don’t Have Anything Else To Do”. Each one of your comments had helped me to go deep into understanding my current frustration.
From my last post, I mentioned that my current frustration might have come from that fact that I have nothing else I want to do with my life, except writing!
Looking at writing from this point of view, I see that I have invest a lot in my writing. Thus I have become extremely critical to my skill and progress. Yes, I did manage to give myself free run for writing up first draft. And when I started the re-writing of STOS # 1 on June, I thought I was o.k. with the story. It took me this long to realize that there’s a part of me who’ve been sneering at all my effort all these time. Underneath it is the sinister voice of the eternal critic who said:
You wrote shit!
You’ll never get published!
You should have stories published by now if you haven’t wasted all these years only “talking” about writing!
Now, this last comment (you should have stories published by not if …) is also crucial to my frustration. It loomed so big in my mind that I started to feel desperate and panic. And how do I deal with it? I required myself to work harder and faster. In another word, I've been trying too hard. I have turned the entire writing process into a CHORE. The daily 200 word count is just a thing on my To-Do-List which I can’t wait to get it out of the way. Having a writing (or creative) routine is one thing, but if it becomes only a task, it freezes creativity. (Having said that I’m still a big believer of routine based working method.)
And thanks to Holly’s keen observation, something else started to make sense to me. It was about the initial “glamour” associated with starting any new project began to wear off, the project became … just a project. It lost the shine and glory which I have placed on it. Holly also mentioned it might be time to give writing a rest and do something thing else. I’m not quite sure about this as when I was doing other non-writing project, I felt agitated from being away from my stories.
This is where I am:
My desperation of becoming a published writer had me pushing myself to a corner. The result is my creativity froze up and the stories no longer sparkle.
Solution:
I haven’t yet figure out steps or an action-plan to deal with it. But I believe I need to go deeper and further with the comments I so far gathered from the previous post.
Thank you for listening and hope you’ll still be with me next time …
P.S. The "arrow signs" on the pix said: Where Am I?
P.P.S. "STOS" is my current writing project. It is developed on Dec 2008 and is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
From my last post, I mentioned that my current frustration might have come from that fact that I have nothing else I want to do with my life, except writing!
Looking at writing from this point of view, I see that I have invest a lot in my writing. Thus I have become extremely critical to my skill and progress. Yes, I did manage to give myself free run for writing up first draft. And when I started the re-writing of STOS # 1 on June, I thought I was o.k. with the story. It took me this long to realize that there’s a part of me who’ve been sneering at all my effort all these time. Underneath it is the sinister voice of the eternal critic who said:
You wrote shit!
You’ll never get published!
You should have stories published by now if you haven’t wasted all these years only “talking” about writing!
Now, this last comment (you should have stories published by not if …) is also crucial to my frustration. It loomed so big in my mind that I started to feel desperate and panic. And how do I deal with it? I required myself to work harder and faster. In another word, I've been trying too hard. I have turned the entire writing process into a CHORE. The daily 200 word count is just a thing on my To-Do-List which I can’t wait to get it out of the way. Having a writing (or creative) routine is one thing, but if it becomes only a task, it freezes creativity. (Having said that I’m still a big believer of routine based working method.)
And thanks to Holly’s keen observation, something else started to make sense to me. It was about the initial “glamour” associated with starting any new project began to wear off, the project became … just a project. It lost the shine and glory which I have placed on it. Holly also mentioned it might be time to give writing a rest and do something thing else. I’m not quite sure about this as when I was doing other non-writing project, I felt agitated from being away from my stories.
This is where I am:
My desperation of becoming a published writer had me pushing myself to a corner. The result is my creativity froze up and the stories no longer sparkle.
Solution:
I haven’t yet figure out steps or an action-plan to deal with it. But I believe I need to go deeper and further with the comments I so far gathered from the previous post.
Thank you for listening and hope you’ll still be with me next time …
P.S. The "arrow signs" on the pix said: Where Am I?
P.P.S. "STOS" is my current writing project. It is developed on Dec 2008 and is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
Monday, July 20, 2009
I Have Nothing Else To Do
Before I start off, I want to thank you, my fellow creatives for taking time to read this incomplete post. I ask for your forgiveness and patience if you pick up any incoherent of my writing. I’m not my usual self lately and I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on! This post is part of my search.
I have wanted to write about a particular workshop experience for a long while. But I was fearful that I would either turn myself into an idiot or appear to be an arrogant bastard. However, from the various degrees of frustration and puzzlement I picked up from a few of our fellow creatives, I began thinking deeply about my writing and this one particular workshop experience.
About two years ago, I enrolled in a one-day writing class called "Finding Your Voice". (Not singing, but writing voice! And thank god you never hear me sing …) The tutor and participants were all passionate about writing and were generous to offer each other critique and support. I had learnt a lot from them and gained confidence in my writing. (I’m sure you can tell there’s a “but” coming …)
But there was one “reaction” from both the tutor and participants which left me with bewilderment. As usual in a lot of writing workshops, participants are invited to talk about the reasons why they write. It was no different with this one. I gave the usual plus one specific reason: Because I Have Nothing Else To Do. As soon as I made this statement, the entire class laughed. I was taken aback and felt like an idiot. I was pretty sure they must have thought that I was making a joke. I can’t remember exactly what happened afterward. Probably I babbled a bit and let the thing trailed off.
Lately, though I’m experiencing tremendous frustration of maintaining my creativity, I still hang onto my story writing for exactly the same reason. Let me say it again: Because I Have Nothing Else To Do. I’m not sure how you’ll take this … hopefully you don’t laugh. But I also don’t want you to have the wrong idea that I’m showing off my determination to be a writer and hence undermining your effort in pursuing your art. I’m simply stating a fact of my life.
Now for this “nothing else”, it could be viewed in two ways:
1. Our duties / responsibilities / obligations to our day job, families & friends.
2. All sorts of activities which we do for fun / relaxation / filling up our spare time.
And when I say I don’t have anything else to do, I'm not only talking about the responsibilities and activities. I'm referring to what I want to do with my life at this stage.
You might think that by identifying the above, my frustration should cease. Oh, no! Far from it. I’m actually thinking it might be part of the problem. As I’m still pondering and planning a separate post on it, I’ll stop here and ask my fellow creatives a few questions.
- If time and money is not an issue (OR) if you have unlimited time and money, would you still write / draw / sew / knit / create? Why?
- Is there anything else you want to do with your life other than your current art form? Why?
You’re all welcomed to respond to these questions as comments in this blog (OR) you could write a post as respond in your blog. If you choose the latter, I would appreciate if you could let me know so that I could hop over and read about it.
Til then … have a great day!
I have wanted to write about a particular workshop experience for a long while. But I was fearful that I would either turn myself into an idiot or appear to be an arrogant bastard. However, from the various degrees of frustration and puzzlement I picked up from a few of our fellow creatives, I began thinking deeply about my writing and this one particular workshop experience.
About two years ago, I enrolled in a one-day writing class called "Finding Your Voice". (Not singing, but writing voice! And thank god you never hear me sing …) The tutor and participants were all passionate about writing and were generous to offer each other critique and support. I had learnt a lot from them and gained confidence in my writing. (I’m sure you can tell there’s a “but” coming …)
But there was one “reaction” from both the tutor and participants which left me with bewilderment. As usual in a lot of writing workshops, participants are invited to talk about the reasons why they write. It was no different with this one. I gave the usual plus one specific reason: Because I Have Nothing Else To Do. As soon as I made this statement, the entire class laughed. I was taken aback and felt like an idiot. I was pretty sure they must have thought that I was making a joke. I can’t remember exactly what happened afterward. Probably I babbled a bit and let the thing trailed off.
Lately, though I’m experiencing tremendous frustration of maintaining my creativity, I still hang onto my story writing for exactly the same reason. Let me say it again: Because I Have Nothing Else To Do. I’m not sure how you’ll take this … hopefully you don’t laugh. But I also don’t want you to have the wrong idea that I’m showing off my determination to be a writer and hence undermining your effort in pursuing your art. I’m simply stating a fact of my life.
Now for this “nothing else”, it could be viewed in two ways:
1. Our duties / responsibilities / obligations to our day job, families & friends.
2. All sorts of activities which we do for fun / relaxation / filling up our spare time.
And when I say I don’t have anything else to do, I'm not only talking about the responsibilities and activities. I'm referring to what I want to do with my life at this stage.
You might think that by identifying the above, my frustration should cease. Oh, no! Far from it. I’m actually thinking it might be part of the problem. As I’m still pondering and planning a separate post on it, I’ll stop here and ask my fellow creatives a few questions.
- If time and money is not an issue (OR) if you have unlimited time and money, would you still write / draw / sew / knit / create? Why?
- Is there anything else you want to do with your life other than your current art form? Why?
You’re all welcomed to respond to these questions as comments in this blog (OR) you could write a post as respond in your blog. If you choose the latter, I would appreciate if you could let me know so that I could hop over and read about it.
Til then … have a great day!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Bewilderment
In this slowing time of mine, though I’m still creating, I really need some extra boost to keep me going.
For those who have been following this blog for a while, you all know that I’m currently reading books on creativity by Eric Maisel. Well, I have to admit that since early June, that was when I semi-hibernated, I felt like I was on overdrive. To give myself a decent break and to re-tune the creative engine, I stopped all my readings. But since my official slow-down, I went back to the “The Creativity Book”.
To quote Maisel on Week 17: “An everyday creative person makes an effort to embrace bewilderment.” When I read of this, I thought to myself: No problem. I’ve been embracing the chaos of writing 1st draft all these months. And I’m perfectly o.k. with it. I also thought maybe Maisel’s book was not right for me at this stage. So I put it down and went back to tackle the rewriting of STOS # 1.
But the phrase “embrace bewilderment” kept swirling in my mind and I couldn’t focus on writing. The only way to get rid of it is to bring it to the boil.
I went back to re-read that chapter a couple of times and there was one sentence which really jumped out at me.
It might mean that you’re on the verge of a breakthrough that can only occur if you let out a real shriek: “I have no idea what I’m doing!”
Bingo! That’s it!
I did embrace the bewilderment (not knowing) of creating stories. But I rejected the "not knowing" when I was working on rewriting / editing. I actually expected myself to know everything about the story after the first draft. The “I should know” attitude not only brings in frustration and pressure. It is crippling the rewriting process and literally places the story on hold.
I have to admit that I’m still pretty much in the dark and just like what Maisel says: "I have no idea what I’m doing!"
I need to surrender myself to the story again. And let the story re-write itself. Or as Maisel suggests: I’m prepared to work blind.
For those who have been following this blog for a while, you all know that I’m currently reading books on creativity by Eric Maisel. Well, I have to admit that since early June, that was when I semi-hibernated, I felt like I was on overdrive. To give myself a decent break and to re-tune the creative engine, I stopped all my readings. But since my official slow-down, I went back to the “The Creativity Book”.
To quote Maisel on Week 17: “An everyday creative person makes an effort to embrace bewilderment.” When I read of this, I thought to myself: No problem. I’ve been embracing the chaos of writing 1st draft all these months. And I’m perfectly o.k. with it. I also thought maybe Maisel’s book was not right for me at this stage. So I put it down and went back to tackle the rewriting of STOS # 1.
But the phrase “embrace bewilderment” kept swirling in my mind and I couldn’t focus on writing. The only way to get rid of it is to bring it to the boil.
I went back to re-read that chapter a couple of times and there was one sentence which really jumped out at me.
It might mean that you’re on the verge of a breakthrough that can only occur if you let out a real shriek: “I have no idea what I’m doing!”
Bingo! That’s it!
I did embrace the bewilderment (not knowing) of creating stories. But I rejected the "not knowing" when I was working on rewriting / editing. I actually expected myself to know everything about the story after the first draft. The “I should know” attitude not only brings in frustration and pressure. It is crippling the rewriting process and literally places the story on hold.
I have to admit that I’m still pretty much in the dark and just like what Maisel says: "I have no idea what I’m doing!"
I need to surrender myself to the story again. And let the story re-write itself. Or as Maisel suggests: I’m prepared to work blind.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
STOS # 4
As I mentioned the problems I had with STOS # 1 (rewrite) on a previous post, I had touched on the fact that I’ve started STOS # 4.
I must have a hidden liking of self-torture. While I was jumping up and down exclaiming the difficulties of working on STOS # 1 (rewrite), I actually felt compel to begin a new story.
When I first developed the series of stories of STOS, I had no idea which one I would work on. I just followed my gut and some how a pattern had emerged. A story will pop out to catch my eyes when I was finishing another story.
Did STOS # 4 follow the same path? Sorry, nope!
After completion of STOS # 3, I went into hiber-mode for about 2 weeks. And within that period, I deliberately stayed away from my writing room and anything related to writing. I concentrated on having fun with “Wreck This Journal”. But there was also some craving going on. I had this great urge to want to read some good old ghost stories. I mean the classics like Wilkie Collins’ “The Woman in White”.
Anyway, I began to search my bookshelves to see if there would be a book of ghost stories which I bought years ago and haven’t read yet. Search result “0”. I became obsessed and prepared to head to the nearby Borders for a book-shopping spree. Then I remembered I had downloaded some free eBook from Project Gutenburg years ago. I combed through the listing quickly and found one of the must read – Turn of The Screw by Henry James!
For years, I mean YEARS, I’ve heard so many people praise about Turn of the Screw and Henry James’ writing. I kept telling myself I needed to read this book. God only knew why I waited this long! The story is fantastic and James is a master storyteller. But nothing compared to below.
I got a jolt right after I finished Chapter 1 of Turn of the Screw. One of the story ideas I had developed for STOS is a ghost story and I’ve always wanted to try my hands on creating one. So, that’s it! Mr. James had picked STOS # 4 for me.
There you go again, stories come to us in all sorts of way.
I must have a hidden liking of self-torture. While I was jumping up and down exclaiming the difficulties of working on STOS # 1 (rewrite), I actually felt compel to begin a new story.
When I first developed the series of stories of STOS, I had no idea which one I would work on. I just followed my gut and some how a pattern had emerged. A story will pop out to catch my eyes when I was finishing another story.
Did STOS # 4 follow the same path? Sorry, nope!
After completion of STOS # 3, I went into hiber-mode for about 2 weeks. And within that period, I deliberately stayed away from my writing room and anything related to writing. I concentrated on having fun with “Wreck This Journal”. But there was also some craving going on. I had this great urge to want to read some good old ghost stories. I mean the classics like Wilkie Collins’ “The Woman in White”.
Anyway, I began to search my bookshelves to see if there would be a book of ghost stories which I bought years ago and haven’t read yet. Search result “0”. I became obsessed and prepared to head to the nearby Borders for a book-shopping spree. Then I remembered I had downloaded some free eBook from Project Gutenburg years ago. I combed through the listing quickly and found one of the must read – Turn of The Screw by Henry James!
For years, I mean YEARS, I’ve heard so many people praise about Turn of the Screw and Henry James’ writing. I kept telling myself I needed to read this book. God only knew why I waited this long! The story is fantastic and James is a master storyteller. But nothing compared to below.
I got a jolt right after I finished Chapter 1 of Turn of the Screw. One of the story ideas I had developed for STOS is a ghost story and I’ve always wanted to try my hands on creating one. So, that’s it! Mr. James had picked STOS # 4 for me.
There you go again, stories come to us in all sorts of way.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
STOS # 1 (Rewrite)
A while ago, I wrote about my initial failure to begin the revision of STOS # 1. I’m here to report that the rewriting had finally begun, with difficulties.
After finishing the first draft before Easter, I’ve already known that one of the characters was of no importance to the story. Michelle (the character’s name) will have to go. For some reasons, I thought it was going to be just a cut & paste job. Dream on!
After re-reading the story, the “taking out” mean a rewrite of the opening of the story. And by removing Michelle, I have to re-develop her father’s character. He’s now playing a major role in helping the protagonist to get what she wants. To complicate the matter, I’ll also have to restructure the sequence of events through out the story.
Apart from the above, another major task for this revision is to flesh out the motivation of the protagonist and to give the driving force behind her action depth and details. And I haven’t included works like tidying up dialogue, quality of the prose etc to the list.
While writing the first draft, I rely heavily on intuition to churn out the 200+ words per day. The writing becomes a thrill ride to me and there is a great sense of achievement after the daily writing.
With revision, it is a totally different scenario. I could not just slide into my chair and start punching away words on the laptop. A lot of the time is spent on thinking plus scribbling down notes and questions for myself. Actual rewriting is done in snail paces, hence I’m unable to work on the rewrite every day. This has completely thrown me off from the writing routine that I just started to get used to. And gosh, this is messing me up, big time!
I hope that give it some time, I’ll get used to the re-imagining of story and characters for rewriting. Wish me luck, fellow creatives!
P.S. As if I don’t have enough of mess, I started STOS # 4 (draft) yesterday!
* STOS is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
After finishing the first draft before Easter, I’ve already known that one of the characters was of no importance to the story. Michelle (the character’s name) will have to go. For some reasons, I thought it was going to be just a cut & paste job. Dream on!
After re-reading the story, the “taking out” mean a rewrite of the opening of the story. And by removing Michelle, I have to re-develop her father’s character. He’s now playing a major role in helping the protagonist to get what she wants. To complicate the matter, I’ll also have to restructure the sequence of events through out the story.
Apart from the above, another major task for this revision is to flesh out the motivation of the protagonist and to give the driving force behind her action depth and details. And I haven’t included works like tidying up dialogue, quality of the prose etc to the list.
While writing the first draft, I rely heavily on intuition to churn out the 200+ words per day. The writing becomes a thrill ride to me and there is a great sense of achievement after the daily writing.
With revision, it is a totally different scenario. I could not just slide into my chair and start punching away words on the laptop. A lot of the time is spent on thinking plus scribbling down notes and questions for myself. Actual rewriting is done in snail paces, hence I’m unable to work on the rewrite every day. This has completely thrown me off from the writing routine that I just started to get used to. And gosh, this is messing me up, big time!
I hope that give it some time, I’ll get used to the re-imagining of story and characters for rewriting. Wish me luck, fellow creatives!
P.S. As if I don’t have enough of mess, I started STOS # 4 (draft) yesterday!
* STOS is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Book Adoption
Last Friday, while I waited to pick up my car for its usual service, I went to the local Borders bookshop for a quick browse and stumbled upon The Shadow of The Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Since I have a few hours to kill, I decided to sit down and read the prologue of the book.
Don’t worry, I’m not here to write a book review. But one of Zafon’s inventions in the book has brought back some almost forgotten memories. In The Shadow of The Wind, there is a place called the Cemetery of Forgotten Books and the protagonist, a young boy, was taken to the Cemetery to adopt a book. The “adoption”, as my interpretation, is about the impact and effects a reader got from h/her first few reading experiences.
The adoption idea had inspired me to share with you some of my most treasured reading experiences.
Little Mermaid
I was only about four or five years old when I read of the story of Little Mermaid. One thing about the story which still haunt me was the agony Little Mermaid experienced after she was transformed into human being. Her feet were in tremendous pain whenever she walked.
The impression of Little Mermaid in pain was so strong to my, then, young mind, I have been associated it with “pins and needles” all these time!
The Mist of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
I grew up with King Arthur and His Knight and The Round Table. The story was so deeply ingrained in my mind that when I finished reading The Mist of Avalon, I was in major shock but yet extremely excited.
It was the first time I read of a story which was told in another Point of View. It completely changed my perception of the traditional King Arthur tale. This book had major influence on how I approached to my writing subjects.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
What more can I say? Mr. Darcy has been my dream man since I was a teenager.
Remembrance of Things Past: 1 by Marcel Proust
I read the set of books (3 of them in total) in one year’s time decades ago. So pardon me if I’m a bit hazy about the book.
I was head over heels to the French who could use up to 3 or 4 pages to describe a room. (I mean this as compliment). Since then, I haven’t found anyone who could do that!
Fellow creatives, I’d like to invite you to share with us some of your most treasured reading experiences in your blogs. It could be of books, drawing, movies or anything that has major impact / influence to your chosen art form.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Choosing
It is amazing how every day I have to learn about choosing all over again and again. The choosing I’m referring to is whether I choose to write or not. And if I choose to write, I also have to choose what I’m going to write.
After finishing STOS # 1 (draft), I had come up with a very rough writing schedule. Basically I’m to produce 200 words of STOS on a daily basis (5 or 6 days a week). So far, I’ve finished 3 stories of STOS. No bad!
By now, I’m expecting I should be very used to this 200 words daily writing routine. I’m expecting myself to feel at ease whenever I sit in front of my laptop. The answer is Yes and No. I did feel at ease sitting in front of the laptop. Whereas in before, I was like an animal circling the prey and wondered when was the best time to attack it. Now I would slide into my chair and turn on the machine gracefully.
Then comes the big No No. While waiting for the laptop to load up the document, my mind would start wandering off. It leaps to want to check the emails and all the fantastic blogs simultaneously. Or all of a sudden, the laundry is of paramount importance. I have to do it and I have to do it now or the human race will be perished. And As soon as my mind start grabbing the shopping list for luxurious gadgets like a wireless mouse covered in Swaroski crystals, I have to put a stop to it.
I’m back to choosing. I have to make a conscious decision if I’m to write today or to continue with a gadget list with more items like installing a 72 inches big screen TV in my bedroom.
Choosing has become an important part of my daily writing routine. It sets up the stage for the creative self to perform. And when I step on that stage, the other parts of choosing come in as well. Now I’m facing with the questions if I want to start a new story or to rewrite a finished draft. To go further, I’ll need to make all sorts of decisions / choosing while I’m in the middle of creating a story.
No matter how much choosing I need to do during the course of writing a story, the first choosing is the crucial one. No story will get written without my choosing to write over choosing to watch crap TV.
With this in mind, I’ve been feeling a wee bit uneasy when people say that to be a writer is not by choice. Maybe to them. Maybe they are born to be writers. But to me, I choose to be a writer because I want to. It is a choice that I make on a daily basis.
What about you, fellow creatives? Do you choose to become a writer, a painter? What makes you choose to write or paint or … ?
* STOS is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
After finishing STOS # 1 (draft), I had come up with a very rough writing schedule. Basically I’m to produce 200 words of STOS on a daily basis (5 or 6 days a week). So far, I’ve finished 3 stories of STOS. No bad!
By now, I’m expecting I should be very used to this 200 words daily writing routine. I’m expecting myself to feel at ease whenever I sit in front of my laptop. The answer is Yes and No. I did feel at ease sitting in front of the laptop. Whereas in before, I was like an animal circling the prey and wondered when was the best time to attack it. Now I would slide into my chair and turn on the machine gracefully.
Then comes the big No No. While waiting for the laptop to load up the document, my mind would start wandering off. It leaps to want to check the emails and all the fantastic blogs simultaneously. Or all of a sudden, the laundry is of paramount importance. I have to do it and I have to do it now or the human race will be perished. And As soon as my mind start grabbing the shopping list for luxurious gadgets like a wireless mouse covered in Swaroski crystals, I have to put a stop to it.
I’m back to choosing. I have to make a conscious decision if I’m to write today or to continue with a gadget list with more items like installing a 72 inches big screen TV in my bedroom.
Choosing has become an important part of my daily writing routine. It sets up the stage for the creative self to perform. And when I step on that stage, the other parts of choosing come in as well. Now I’m facing with the questions if I want to start a new story or to rewrite a finished draft. To go further, I’ll need to make all sorts of decisions / choosing while I’m in the middle of creating a story.
No matter how much choosing I need to do during the course of writing a story, the first choosing is the crucial one. No story will get written without my choosing to write over choosing to watch crap TV.
With this in mind, I’ve been feeling a wee bit uneasy when people say that to be a writer is not by choice. Maybe to them. Maybe they are born to be writers. But to me, I choose to be a writer because I want to. It is a choice that I make on a daily basis.
What about you, fellow creatives? Do you choose to become a writer, a painter? What makes you choose to write or paint or … ?
* STOS is a series of stories which based (loosely) on the same theme.
Monday, June 8, 2009
STOS # 3 Completed ...
Something rather intriguing happening while I was hibernating from writing for the last 5 days.
I didn’t consciously seeking out the reasons why I went into hiber-mode. But after the long weekend watching re-run of “Torchwood” Series 2, a UK Sci Fi TV series, I decided it was about time I got down to business. I picked up where I left off from the last writing of STOS # 3 and finished the story.
As I finished it, I felt a bit giddy and surreal. Giddy, obviously came from the sense of accomplish something. Surreal was about the way how I paused the writing machine for 5 days, and then pressed the play button as if nothing happened. I just sat down and wrote the ending of it.
Something came back to me when I tidied up the files of STOS # 3. I have been aware of one of the reasons which contributed to my feeling off-balance, creatively. But I didn’t want to acknowledge it back then.
While I was working on STOS # 3, I also started the revision of STOS # 1 as per my original schedule. I thought I would be able to handle 2 projects (at various stages) the same time. Though at a deeper level, I had my doubts. Up til now, I had never worked on 2 stories simultaneously. I wanted to believe that I could bring my work place management scheme to my creative calendar. The fact was the creative part of me was operating from an organic yet alien system. I chose to ignore it and force fed it with my work self. The result was: My creative self became confused and she froze up.
My fault lied in “demanding” my creative self to work on 2 stories the same time. I never asked her if she wanted to do it or not. I just threw the stories at her and expect her to get on with it. I ignored that working on a draft was very different to working on revision. The creative self will need to switch from one mode of creativity to another.
I should never force the creative self to do anything that she doesn’t want to. The essential thing is to accept that she has her limit. And it is only by allowing her time to grow and loving her unconditionally that she would achieve great things.
I’m sure eventually I would be able to work on several creative projects within the same time frame. But not now, not until when she is ready.
I didn’t consciously seeking out the reasons why I went into hiber-mode. But after the long weekend watching re-run of “Torchwood” Series 2, a UK Sci Fi TV series, I decided it was about time I got down to business. I picked up where I left off from the last writing of STOS # 3 and finished the story.
As I finished it, I felt a bit giddy and surreal. Giddy, obviously came from the sense of accomplish something. Surreal was about the way how I paused the writing machine for 5 days, and then pressed the play button as if nothing happened. I just sat down and wrote the ending of it.
Something came back to me when I tidied up the files of STOS # 3. I have been aware of one of the reasons which contributed to my feeling off-balance, creatively. But I didn’t want to acknowledge it back then.
While I was working on STOS # 3, I also started the revision of STOS # 1 as per my original schedule. I thought I would be able to handle 2 projects (at various stages) the same time. Though at a deeper level, I had my doubts. Up til now, I had never worked on 2 stories simultaneously. I wanted to believe that I could bring my work place management scheme to my creative calendar. The fact was the creative part of me was operating from an organic yet alien system. I chose to ignore it and force fed it with my work self. The result was: My creative self became confused and she froze up.
My fault lied in “demanding” my creative self to work on 2 stories the same time. I never asked her if she wanted to do it or not. I just threw the stories at her and expect her to get on with it. I ignored that working on a draft was very different to working on revision. The creative self will need to switch from one mode of creativity to another.
I should never force the creative self to do anything that she doesn’t want to. The essential thing is to accept that she has her limit. And it is only by allowing her time to grow and loving her unconditionally that she would achieve great things.
I’m sure eventually I would be able to work on several creative projects within the same time frame. But not now, not until when she is ready.
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